I’m tired and confused and feeling a little depressed. The day didn’t start out like this. I was chirpy this morning having done a workout in the gym before heading to work.
Now, sitting in my couch at home after scanning the day that had just transpired for specific moments where I started feeling down, I find nothing.
So I ended the day with a can of Heineken consumed from an IKEA tall water glass and two slices of leftover vegetarian pizza from our hosting of a group of representatives from a company we work with. Besides making me feel a stronger sense of melancholy, I’m not sure that it did anything to help. Not that I expected it to.
I may be getting tired of conducting classes for my colleagues. I have a disdain for dealing with politics. If someone isn’t happy with a person, he or she should just tell it to that person directly, not go through someone else (in this case, me) to tell it, especially in a professional setting. And especially in a company that prides itself on the radical candour brand of communication.
That’s it. That is the reason I started feeling my day spiralling down.
Let me rephrase that: I see now that this is the force that tugged at me to feel bad, and I allowed myself to be tugged, harder and harder until I fell.
If I truly believe in radical candour, I should be giving feedback about the feedback not being given.
It’s a choice that I made, so I have no one else to blame but myself for the way the day turned out.
Ultimately, I’m honestly still very thankful that this is an exception at where I work. Not many can say that confidently, but I can and I’m glad.